Who I Am and Who You Made Me
by The Queen of Double Standards
Summary: "He doesn't love me, anymore, Galaco, and it's because you made me someone different than the me he loved. I hate you for that. You ruined my one chance at happiness." Gift of Galaco


**Who I Am and Who You Made Me**

"Galaco, you really are horrible."

The room is cold and empty as she tells me this, her eyes filled to the brim with tears. We're sitting together on the floor, leaned against a wall in the darkened room, a single candle flickering to offer us some blurry form of vision. She's quiet as she speaks; I know she's trying not to wake anyone, because I'm not supposed to be here at this hour. Ring was never a rule-breaker before she met me, but I think that change was for the better.

Her words sink in the air between us, slipping into the silence after a moment as I let them find their way into my consciousness. I don't say anything to her because I know my indignance will only frustrate her. Still, for her to have called me here to tell me this, days, weeks after we've broken up, it angers me. I'm still hurt. I'm still heartbroken. What right does she have to say these things to me?

"Aren't you going to ask why?" she wonders, but I can't manage to make a sound in return. What am I meant to say, anyway? That I'm not? No matter what I say, she won't feel any differently, and I still love her too much to risk hurting her with harsh words. Confrontation was never my style, anyway. I let her yell at me until she's had enough, and then she feels bad for yelling at me, so it works in my favour. There's nothing to gain from having things in my favour now, though, I suppose, because I know she's long gone, moved on, and had been even before she broke up with me.

"You're not fair, Galaco," she murmurs, but she lacks the bravery to even avert her gaze toward me from the candle as she says this, so I don't dignify this statement with her obvious desired response. "It was abusive, you know, our relationship. We were always guilting each other. Whoever wound up feeling less guilty won, right? I guess you won our breakup in that way, huh?"

Does she honestly believe breakups have a winner? I don't bother asking her; I want to make her desperate to hear my voice, so I won't say anything until she begs me, until she's crying and saying she's sorry and she regrets it and she wants me back. That's all a fantasy, and I know it, but can still hope.

"Galaco, I don't think it's fair that you won. You were much worse to me than I ever was to you."

Ring has always been selfish. She's always played the victim. She's always made me feel like I was in the wrong, even though I promise that she was just as often. I'm starting to wonder how it is I could ever love someone like that.

"He doesn't love me, anymore, Galaco, and it's because you made me someone different than the me he loved. I hate you for that. You ruined my one chance at happiness. Gakupo and I could have been a beautiful, perfect couple, but you had to go and need me. You made it so that I couldn't leave you. I know you did it on purpose, no matter how much you say it wasn't."

When she'd realized her feelings for Gakupo, and he his for her, I hadn't been worried that I'd lose her, because I knew she felt responsible for me. I was clingy; I was unstable; I depended on her and her alone. She was my life, my everything, because Lily had been my only one before her, but Lily hates me now, just like Ring seems to. I'm going to be completely alone again; maybe if I tell her how many times I've considered killing myself lately, she'll stay with me.

"I want to still be friends with you, I want to still love you, but I don't know how to feel about you anymore. You made me someone terrible, someone different. You made me lose friends. You made me lose him. He has someone else now, and I've probably missed out on my happily ever after because you had to go and dump all of your problems on me." She's getting angrier now, and so am I, but while she lets every feeling she ever has show clearly on her face, I never let her see anything. "My life was perfectly fine before you had to come along and ruin it, Galaco, and I wish I would've left you back when we had that fight on Valentine's Day so that I wouldn't have screwed things up with Gakupo back in the summer."

So she's going to blame everything on me, then? What about him? Isn't it his fault, too, for not waiting? But, no, she's always compared me and him, and he's always been the better one. The few times I have snapped, it's been over that. Yes, I clearly knew she loved him more than she loved me, but she's the one who chose to stay with me. It's her fault, not mine.

"Galaco, I don't think there's any room for anything between you and I anymore. I'm sorry. Stop trying to contact me. I'm done."

So I get no say in anything then? She's the only one allowed to be hurt?

She's waiting for me to speak, but I don't. I don't need to for her to know how much she's hurt me. I don't want to lie and say it's alright, though I know there'd be a juicy amount of guilt from her if I did so. I'll get a better reaction this way; I'll leave her wondering what I might have said; I'll hurt her more than I'll ever allow myself to be hurt again. Instead of speaking, I stand up, walk past that flickering candle, and without ever hesitating or casting her a single glance, I walk out that door and out of her life, forever.

**Author's Note: Soooo this is really dark I suppose, and that makes me concerned that this story was incredibly personal to me. Galaco=ex, Ring=me. Things I wish I'd said but didn't have the guts to and my realization of how abusive the relationship really was. I mean seriously, telling me you would've killed yourself by now if it weren't for me and that I'm the only thing that matters to you, really? Ugh okay I'm sorry I'm done ranting. Anyway October is Gift of Galaco month so here's Galaco, sorry I made her so evil :P I'll probably have another one for tomorrow if I have time, Mayu and Galaco.**


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